Untitled

with you
drowned in daylight.
returning to where our woes
and foes
wallow.

and although i'd
prefer to gaze upon your countenance; darkened
by moonlight, unlike
mine (by desire)
you're silhouette; blinding
beauty brighter than the very stars
or kiss the lips
which so oft swoon, entice me and leave
me speechless
I am content
each moment
simply to be close to you.

to breathe your air and feel the silken skin, perhaps
my greatest privilege

with out you
questions, quandaries
consume
me, creating doubt
and shame..
shattered all
by the sound of your voice;
a constant reminder
of the entity that bounds us
the harsh, bitter
song
that
tastes
so
sweet

if only we'd
trim that hairy heart
of course
I would
love to help
you out.

Untitled

I want you to see in my mind.
understanding, pity.
perhaps i deserve hard looks
and abandonment
but no one can see in my mind
not even you.


and even though i want this
my longing for the past shall never leave my center
my soul
part of which you are

part of what will leave me
one day.
shattered vases; broken broken, glued again
but the glue wears off
as has my love for you
and as i search for the one who can help me
understand the solution that enables the paste to dwell.
i realize
what i can accomplish.
a conditional, always seems to correspond
still i wish
i was numb
and dull
and petty.
perhaps then i would be in a different setting, with no trouble or trifles to cope with

pieces of what doesn't matter anymore
and I know it'll get you sore
but you'll do it
you'll do it
you'll do it til youve tore

everthing in you
til they're flailing about
and nobody wants you
to let it all out

your memories have haunted
your pieces of gold
the times you once wanted
have grown very old

you will tell your father
you will go away
no one will bother
no one will stay

just forget the living
recount your old ways
amuse the desceased
for the rest of your days

pieces of what doesn't matter anymore
and I know it'll get you sore
but you'll do it
you'll do it
you'll do it til youve tore

everthing in you
til they're flailing about
and nobody wants you
to let it all out

pieces of what doesn't matter anymore
and I know it'll get you sore
but you'll do it
you'll do it
you'll do it til youve tore

everthing in you
til they're flailing about
and nobody wants you
to let it all out
til you've killed them

Untitled

Open and taken
Exposed

Is intimacy a concept past you?

Sameness, sameness.

My heart's being blended.
And I skip the question: what is there to do?
Because I've learned there are never answers; only problems
I am utterly hopeless and I refuse still to even fathom simple endurance.
Just tell me once..twice perhaps
Reign yourself to it
Crush me.

lighthouse//living room

To find a place
to find what you need.
To feel compelled
to be as you see.

Finding it takes time
and time requires will.
And will requires reason
which we've lost long ago.

A decision made solely by others.


And with a laugh I'd say
come forth and meet me;
forward is the way.
Go north; deceive me.
I'd know 'til this day.

Your desires are my desires.
Or are my desires yours?

Untitled

& I didn't cry myself to sleep last night
because I slept with someone else,
and I couldn't find the tears
due to exhaustion.

back to the same routine
"well, I thought today was good."
and so badly
I want to talk
but I instead resort to blades
and bracelets.

"no, not now.
I'll tell you later."
too bad you forgot.
too bad I'm a coward.

Untitled

including emotions lost-
the memory is just as strong.
the action replayed only once
because once was all I needed.

that one moment:
The instant in which all senses-
heightened.
While your mind seeps into complete forgetfulness.
when your worries and wants
and regrets are found only in oblivion,
a place you can't reach
because you don't want to
and for once what you want is yours.
that one moment...


then the next arrives, not even half as good
sigh.
followed by cold water.

loucs amoinus

touch
I remember it
and crave it

and only moments ago
it reminded me of things lovely


and im tired
but I need to be reminded...



must remain hostile
for that moment to arise
waiting







I'm a sinner and I know it
still I'm waiting for that pleasant place.

Untitled

With you,
On forbidden rooftops.
Stars above and I sense fear
Within the endless components that assemble my mentality.

But you are wise
And you promise me.
And that fear dissolves into tiny particles of disbelief,
Which were once contrary,
Formed long ago when I knew not your name
but of your tendencies.

I remember complication, but you remind me to forget.
Time will not prevail, it is endless.
Soon, cold brings about shivers and you bring about warmth.
Our faces so close but perfection insists.
Expecting so much, yet keen on our unknown objective.

But here on this rooftop, you are making jokes
While we hear sirens
And snickers, of our own.
How foolish we are, yet I have never felt safer.

pt 1

To never wake from my sleep
To drown in a pond
I’ve lived life a sheep
I’d like to die odd

To choke on a bones
Skull broken with stones
But now,
Now I don’t care how

Just let me meet my maker.

You,

I love the scent of your hair
And the taste of your mouth.
And when your scent becomes my scent
And when that taste lingers

Things become still; unreal.

Untitled

I've chosen to be honest now.
Direction is what I need.
A path to follow, and a way to fill in the blanks.
This phenomenon will alter every emotion, every part of my self.
Ideas will begin to flow again, but this time I will know how to react!
I will have started a mania, and this craze will not end here.
But it must begin with a direction.
A path to follow, and a way to fill in the blanks..

Untitled

I don't believe myself anymore.
This shouldn't bother me, and it doesn't, but how can it not?
I'd like to know why.
And how, if only

this will get me nowhere because things like this never get me anywhere, but I'll admit they help me organize my thoughts which I am terribly grateful for at times

I seek the sweet oblivion of sleep.

Untitled

I am her.

The girl who goes out to pick flowers-
and gets rained on.
But, she dances in the rain
dances until the sun comes out.

She is that girl.
who watches while I dance.
She has everything I don't,
but wants to pick flowers too.

sunlight bathes our home